On a planet called LUng is a decrepit town butted up against a black and oily sea. Its few inhabitance the Neemu are a nocturnal race. And their 2 significant suns have wove a rich tapestry of taboo and legend. The large sun Kindwan is large and old and softly burning. Distant and dull. The second small, quick ,blinding bright is called The Krelewan and orbits from within the thick atmosphere of LUng.
A great wide plain of volcanic glass bands the planet and tall slick slanting droons mark the trail where Krelewan's tail lashes about in sunstorm. Only the mad venture there.
It is a time of Gunganajine the "beautiful chaos". Unknown to the Neemu LUng has been chosen for the worldship Eternity museum. A vessle that houses solar systems in its hull. vast labyrinthine cities and waters in its belly. And now this dark desert jewel in space is preserved for its charms. Its ethers and atmospheres saved from the ravaging hunger of the great fish Vol who devours all. Haunzuix Arkayad Omejigon was born 4 age ago,very young and strong. Yet was lifeless coming and this is why he is Omegigon.."fates puppet". This eve he woke while light still lingered. the shutters seal broken and swung loose. He dared look directly at Krelewan as it made its flight. Quickly looking away he found he was still blinded. Glowing purple suns were in his eyes that slowly faded,but he knew he was now marked.
His handmaiden NaJinga woke from their bed and it swung fiercely as she rose. She had recently begun the regrowth and already she towered above him. Dutifully she washed and sprayed his Fhreware expertly. She was herself as always fully nude and handsome. Crisscrossed with delicate scars from many lovers ,but her nohjit had grown shut long ago and they shared no mating. And as the regrowth continued she soon would heart seize. Then he would be alone and without charts. There were others. Feral children gathering fibrous shazhmn in the chilly alleyways on their long sticks. The mad who made their pilgrimage and the solemn hooded Neemu who rarely spoke.
To the west is a vast red desert. legend speaks that the child warrior Nishymn slew the unstoppable tyrant Wra there.And prying open his heartbox to gain his strength carelessly let one drop of Wra's blood fall to the sand. The sand boiled blood red and hungered for more. Nishymn strong as he was at last fell to his wounds and was lost. but his weapon, the curled black rock glass ceremonial blade Dim was found. Neemu children are from the womb fierce.Their backs barbed with spines that slowly pierce the mothers body. Up until adolecence when these barbs fall off Neemu children are aggressive and are brought slowly into the ways of the docile path of the adult. But Haunzuiks came dead into the world as I said and was taken to the Omejigon witch to be brought back from the otherside. Those who come back are then and ever Omegigon. Sickly in his childhood he came to be mocked and cared for in an almost shamefully seperate way. He wore a thick and heavy necklace. Each bead a single worn ivory finger bone of his ancestors. His ancestry was as burdensome as the necklace.
Actually I have a drawing of Haunzuix. One feature they have is an extended multi chambered throat. This is where gost is processed and stored and they can go without breathing for days. During the day atmosphere thins or evaporates in the heat by night it gels then freezes. Their children are celebrated for their vicious warrior spirit. As fetuses they have sharp back spines exposed and growing through the birth canal.And into adolescence aggressive. But these spines fall off and they become more docile as they reach puberty. A legendary child warrior Nishiym was said to have killed the giant called War alone and pried open his heart box to gain his strength.. Spilled heartblood made the western desert sand turn red and made the desert hunger for more as Nishiym fell of his wounds and died their as well.
Your writing quickly impressed me. You were able to create just the kind of imagery that, I think, given the chance your hands could sculpt, paint, or even draw. Your wordplay, the unique descriptive language and even original terminology just made this so very interesting to read. Makes me wonder what more could be seen, what the inhabitants are like and what traits beings of focus would share. It's certainly stirring piece together what one would see in this small passage alone. If you wrote a story of any length I would read it. You're amazing me at every turn with what you do and now you write as well. It's wonderful.
Thank you so much. I made the character Haunzuix when I was 19 and his world has always been in my head gathering more details. So its very rich now. There are other worlds too. But I really lack the knowledge of structure in creative writing. This is like a narration not a true story. But I thought putting it here would help somehow
I hope it did help. It's not like I think I could add anything to that, nor could anyone else. But, it's great that you did. Even if it's just the tippy top of that iceberg of yours it was lovely. Even if that's all we'd get to see there's so much to think about, much like any place that remains uncharted. I speak as an outsider of course.
It does a littel Im able to pretend Im speaking talking you others and explaining rather than really writing a story.And hopefully if It starts to look stupid someone will point it out. Im encourages me that you liked it too. Even though so many threads are left dangling.
That was a pretty interesting addition. It's, once again, the kind of thing that I expect to go on and on and snowball into something more. Your style of writing for this, now that I look at it again, makes for a good introduction in some ways but in another it's like jumping in to cold water while we may be left guessing at what a few things that are mentioned in your unique terms. Still, it does build a good mystique about your imagination, ideas, and the worlds. Strong stepping stones indeed.
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More