On a planet called LUng is a decrepit town butted up against a black and oily sea.
Its few inhabitance the Neemu are a nocturnal race. And their 2 significant suns have wove a rich tapestry of taboo and legend. The large sun Kindwan is large and old and softly burning. Distant and dull. The second small, quick ,blinding bright is called The Krelewan and orbits from within the thick atmosphere of LUng.
A great wide plain of volcanic glass bands the planet and tall slick slanting droons mark the trail where Krelewan's tail lashes about in sunstorm. Only the mad venture there.
It is a time of Gunganajine the "beautiful chaos". Unknown to the Neemu LUng has been chosen for the worldship Eternity museum. A vessle that houses solar systems in its hull. vast labyrinthine cities and waters in its belly.
And now this dark desert jewel in space is preserved for its charms. Its ethers and atmospheres saved from the ravaging hunger of the great fish Vol who devours all.
Haunzuix Arkayad Omejigon was born 4 age ago,very young and strong. Yet was lifeless coming and this is why he is Omegigon.."fates puppet". This eve he woke while light still lingered. the shutters seal broken and swung loose.
He dared look directly at Krelewan as it made its flight. Quickly looking away he found he was still blinded. Glowing purple suns were in his eyes that slowly faded,but he knew he was now marked.
His handmaiden NaJinga woke from their bed and it swung fiercely as she rose. She had recently begun the regrowth and already she towered above him. Dutifully she washed and sprayed his Fhreware expertly. She was herself as always fully nude and handsome. Crisscrossed with delicate scars from many lovers ,but her nohjit had grown shut long ago and they shared no mating. And as the regrowth continued she soon would heart seize. Then he would be alone and without charts. There were others. Feral children gathering fibrous shazhmn in the chilly alleyways on their long sticks. The mad who made their pilgrimage and the solemn hooded Neemu who rarely spoke.
To the west is a vast red desert. legend speaks that the child warrior Nishymn slew the unstoppable tyrant Wra there.And prying open his heartbox to gain his strength carelessly let one drop of Wra's blood fall to the sand. The sand boiled blood red and hungered for more. Nishymn strong as he was at last fell to his wounds and was lost. but his weapon, the curled black rock glass ceremonial blade Dim was found.
Neemu children are from the womb fierce.Their backs barbed with spines that slowly pierce the mothers body. Up until adolecence when these barbs fall off Neemu children are aggressive and are brought slowly into the ways of the docile path of the adult.
But Haunzuiks came dead into the world as I said and was taken to the Omejigon witch to be brought back from the otherside. Those who come back are then and ever Omegigon. Sickly in his childhood he came to be mocked and cared for in an almost shamefully seperate way. He wore a thick and heavy necklace. Each bead a single worn ivory finger bone of his ancestors. His ancestry was as burdensome as the necklace.
You mentioned it was a rough draft. I would love to see more and watch it progress.